| end |
[Nov. 28th, 2006|05:56 pm] |
| [ | where ya at: |
| | home | ] |
| [ | im feelin: |
| |  finishehd | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | dawson's creek | ] |
this is pretty much the end or this journal.
so long and fairwell.
haha. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2006|11:03 pm] |
so i started my new book: "when the dream is almost over"
um. im kinda sick of people. ha.
its like every move hurts someone, but you try to benefit others, you kill yourself.
its such a good thing that i pretty much dont care what people think.
ah. i love muh boys.
love em
love em
love em
call me, so i can come see you. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|09:53 pm] |
you're pretty much destroying me.
oh well. you're happy.
thats all that counts. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2006|09:07 pm] |
mcla. thats we're i'll be.
come find me.
the berkshires. |
|
|
| apology |
[Nov. 13th, 2006|10:14 pm] |
today was a very long day.
im so sorry if he hurt you.
it pained me to see your tears.
but now you know, why i hurt sometimes.
he can be such a beast.
but your here, and im here.
so lets be here together for eachother.
even though thats kinda not allowed.
its okay.
or atleast it will be.
and yes, puedes tener paz en la tormenta.
you've shown me this. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2006|10:24 pm] |
| [ | where ya at: |
| | my bed | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | alexi murdoch | ] |
i know that you're out there. but i just cant find. its been so long. ive turned myself in to the previous attempts. and success hasnt been reached. failure hasnt either. remodeling is occuring. sometimes i wonder. maybe im too sensitive. maybe i take it too heavily. this thing that is going on between us. here is the thing tho. i know that it is real. and i know that something is going on. because you look at me and the world it stops....
psych. i havent found that yet. except i have. well its found me. i just havent returned the realization. whatever. i have almost all the time in the world. but maybe that just isnt enough time. but i'll still strive for excellence. cause i wont settle. 'something' just isnt enough for me. whether i deserve it or not. whether or not if i am worthy of it. i'll have it. trust me. i get what i want. ask anyone. and if i dont get it, trust me, it defff wasnt worth it.
a philosopher once told me that if anyone didnt get what they wanted out of life it was either because they didnt want it bad enough or they became quimble at the thought of the price of that thing. niether is an object in my world.
valerie there you are..
im writing another book.
any suggestions? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2006|07:16 pm] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | jimmy eat world | ] |
today was nice..
except for the insecurities and paralyzing selfdoubt.
it hurt. i cried. im just glad that you were there.
you're my bestfriend. and i wouldnt have it any other way.
tomorrow will symbolize the seventeenth year of my existance.
and im petrified. of change. and growth.
and yet i anticipate my life that is bound to unravel
before my very eyes.
im going to be rediculous in all that i do.
being a child and a young adult at the same time.
be cause im ready for the responsibilities and stories to come.
and all that i should say,
i wont.
im am forever grateful to Lisa.
thank you.
our friendship can be a secret.
for now. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2006|01:39 am] |
| [ | im feelin: |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | the OC | ] |
i cant believe she is dead...
it was suppose to end that way though.
and tonight was fun.
mommy. daddy. you look so beautiful together.
its time like tonight that a camera was created for.
and i miss bethany.
we'll hang out tuesday.
im writing a new book.
its time, its going to be...
well you'll see.
and i love emily!
so much. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2006|11:20 am] |
| [ | where ya at: |
| | school | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | jazzy shit | ] |
today is all american rejects.
with marianne!
score.
way to be late.
yeah last night was great.
no you're late.
ha.
im too cool.
psych.
double psych. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2006|08:45 pm] |
| [ | im feelin: |
| |  grr. whatever. | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | the OC | ] |
i miss it when we use to be dorks.
sitting home on a friday night just listening to those tunes.
the days that we'd just let time fly by and it be just me and you.
the days when it was okay to sound stupid, and cry.
the days that we didnt care about drinking or getting high.
i miss it when we use to be rejects without hope.
when our people were just tall dopes.
back in a time when matching was overrated.
and we'd sing to greenday about being sedated.
i miss it when it was just you and me.
when we didnt need those cute guys to feel happy.
a time when thoughts were enough.
when we'd make fun of how much they all bluff.
when we were truely a crew.
a crew that consisted of me and you.
but now its just over populated.
consisting of jerks who mad us tainted.
i miss it when we said we'd never change.
and now its not the same.
what can i say?
besides i miss you.
ywah, i miss you.
but you'll never know, cause i'll never say.
and you'll never guess cause now you're identical to the rest.
whatever.
im use to it.
but damn.
i really miss you girli.
this'll all come to pass.
i'll be here.
like i said i would be. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2006|12:29 am] |
you are mine.
and im yours; always yours.
show me, what you want to see.
today was very nice.
harmonica is pretty amazing.
i love you christine.
i cant wait till next weekend.
i miss emily.
and im gonna kick his ass.
for being, a boy. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|02:00 pm] |
| [ | im feelin: |
| | amor es gran | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | the recieving ends of sirens | ] |
this may sound funny but my life just doesnt work without you. remember that time we snuck in and climbed the latter that lead to sin. the one that lasted the entire night, the one that eventually lead to this fight. the fight about the truth we lost. the fight about the love that thought we'd be together until the end. to the ends of eternity and back again. dont tell me that it was just worth that one night, becuase thats no reason for any man to cry. so go ahead and tell your friends that it was just lust at first sight but i'll forever remember the night that you kissed me with all your might.
<3 will make you beautiful again. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|12:55 pm] |
| [ | im feelin: |
| | score | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | the oc | ] |
well my fucking link to the camera and computer is broke.
so i think i just might have to cry about that one. agh. its gaaaay. anyhow. i got a new cool place to go when all is well, itself.
last night. diner with marianne was nice.
bertucci's.
inside joke: how's ya fake it? yes! you did it! haha
um.everythings the same nothings changed.
isnt that just wonderfulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!?
the oc.
is important.
i must say.
so i'll do that.
tonight.
the ladies.
which is life. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|10:57 pm] |
he is dead.
i cant believe he is dead.
dont feel guilty.
because he died alone.
its not your fault.
i dont wanna die; alone.
i wonder how long he was just there; dead.
i think it foul play.
but im just a synic.
damn.
RIP.
you were a great man.
me. c. and katherine.
music.
here we go.
ready to rise this generation.
with music.
the power of love.
**sigh.
i love marianne.
still.
im sure i had something else to inform you of.
but i simply cant remember.
oh yeah..
*him.
tuesday night.
im so excited.
awh, you make me smile, in a way that is scandales.
haha. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|10:22 am] |
| [ | where ya at: |
| | nowhere | ] |
| [ | im feelin: |
| | descent. | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | pita talking | ] |
my pita is here.
its time to go to wortown.
then ciao bella.
to meet marianne.
and go to southboro.
for barb's bday.
thennnnn chilllll.
um.
im tired.
i need to get a new firewire to upload muh pictures.
bizzznitch. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2006|11:44 pm] |
| [ | where ya at: |
| | home. | ] |
| [ | im feelin: |
| | very good | ] |
| [ | muh beats are: |
| | dawson's snooring | ] |
its been a while.
i miss writing.
so i wont stop.
today i visited fsc with tamara.
she is pretti great.
and funny.
i liked it.
but i dont wanna like it.
long weekend.
tomorrow, the bell tower.
im so excited.
but not for what comes after that.
i just get so empty, when i have to face you.
damn it.
this next part is for you.
because i know you listen.
because even thought he might not change.
it'll be okay...
you know the title.
infact you've read this.
but i'll keep it here so we can remember the good when all we can see is bad.
title:the breakfast club
every friday she asks him what he is doing.
and every friday he says the same thing: workin.
in a tone that is too cool for life.
in a tone that makes her feel insignificant.
every friday night we get together and he calls her to ask where she is at.
calling to say that he got off of work early, and that he'll stop by.
when he comes over its perfect.
he is the sweetest guy.
smiling and singing with no shame.
being so different that you'll practically forget that this is all apart of his game.
you see what he does is reel you in.
makes you fall in love with him.
friday is he is a gentleman.
monday he is a man.
a man with priorities and a reputation to maintain.
a man that cannot be caught dead with her.
the funny thing is that we know all of this before it even begins.
the funny thing is that we pretend it doesnt exist.
she'll invite him over.
he'll say no.
then call.
then come over.
and laugh and sing.
then he'll leave.
and monday he'll ignore her.
no one knows it but we have such a great time, when no ones looking.
and knowing that they dont belong together isnt true when he is there.
they belong together on friday.
and all of this would only make sense on friday.
we could be oh so great together if we tried. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2006|09:01 pm] |
atf was amazing.
but now what?
i guess that tomorrow we'll see.
i got a violin.
i miss katerine.
im playing thursday at school
6:30
you should come. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|08:35 pm] |
my book is hitting the stores.
thank you.
boy. i love the way i fit around you so well.
ask me.
ask me if i care.
yeah. i do.
this weekend.
thanks to grams=atf.
all weekend.
hopefully some bands will be good.
vanderwander, expect a call. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|08:40 pm] |
its so great when you're enjoying today
and not stressing tomorrow.
im shhh shaking.
shhh shaking up.
cause boy you make this different than before.
when everyday i dont want want more.
just this.
its good.
but you. ha. miss.
you're so fucking insincere.
i hate it when you say things
and have no idea what it means.
just shut up.
that is as honest as you can be.
iloveyouvanderwander! |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
latingonewhite's journal
ponder.